It was morning - not my best time of day. I was standing in front of the kitchen sink rinsing out my coffee cup and staring out the window looking at our back yard. I was thinking about God. I actually think about God and spirituality and religion a lot. I have so many questions and concerns. And I'm completely brazen about sharing them with whoever or whatever my current concept of God may be.
So there I was thinking my questions in my head while taking in the bare trees and the gray/blue sky. I was feeling peaceful and open. Then, I heard this message, "Be true. Just be true." There was no voice saying, "Be true". But, I "heard" it. And it came from a different place than the thinking I was previously engaged with so it felt more like a message than a thought.
"Okay", I thought. "I can do that."
Later, I made a note of this little conversation knowing I would want to write about it. Now that I am writing about it, I have to ask. Have I been true?
I've been trying. (Can you hear Yoda hollering in the distance?)
It's easy to get distracted by the maintenance and doings and events of life. Maybe distracted isn't always the right word. I get distracted by the maintenance and, hopefully, engaged in the events.
Be True is a process just like mindfulness or authenticity. Maybe - Be True - includes mindfulness and authenticity - not as activities, completions or states of finality - as in I am "finally authentic!" Ding! I'm done. Take me out of the oven.
Actually I think, Be True, may mean always being in the oven. Turning up the heat on awareness and questioning, on boundaries and knowing the difference between your "yes" and your "no".
As I suppose any mindful or deliberate practice would, art helps with this. Always asking the question - what do I see, what is the truth of what I see, and what is the essence of what I see, what do I see that is there and what do I see that isn't there. How is my vision unique? How is it honest? Is wishful thinking clouding my vision? If it is, is that okay with me?
You may ask, "Where is she going with this?"
Nowhere. Right here. I'm not trying to be mystical or "woo woo". I have a low threshold for "woo woo". Here's the deal. I've been deep in the throes of exploring the purpose for this blog and the meaning of Creative Freedom. What am I creating. Am I creating deliberately?
I believe I can promise you that I'll never write a post titled "Ten Easy Steps to Be True". I'm not wired liked that. Don't get me wrong, if there were 10 easy steps to accomplish anything I wanted in my life, I would want to know about them. I might wander off after reaching Step 3 and jump to Step 7, then get bored and start looking for a better 10 steps, but ...
Do you see what I did there?
So the question remains. Have I been true since I received that message. Nope. Most days I forget all about it. I get busy. I get engaged. I want to numb out and ignore all my responsibilities and eat a pint of ice cream. So...nope.
But, my desire to Be True remains strong. My hope is if I keep returning to the thought/message of Be True like a touchstone or a mantra - that eventually, I will be more true than not. So this writing is merely an exploration of the mantra Be True.
My hope is that truth will float through everything I do here and that it will become more rather than less a part of my whole life. If this kind of journey - or musing - resonates with you in any way - we may be siblings. ;-)