Abolish Self-consciousness!

This is probably my favorite piece I did for the 2012 Art Journal Caravan. I love her face. She's precious and happy and warm. So sweet and unafraid. And I finally figured out how to put text on a shape.

Journaling:

If I could change one thing in the world it would be to abolish self-consciousness. Not the kind that makes us aware and compassionate. The kind that makes us afraid to be seen. What is the worst that could happen if I let you see me? I am not afraid. & I promise I will not hurt you if you let me see you. I will be a loving witness to that which you are - to that which makes you - you.

Journaling on the journaling:

Icky sticky self-consciousness. Comparison. Judgement. Fear of being who we are. Worrying and fussing about what people think of us.

All of the above = pure poison to the soul.

I get caught in this trap every other day. Or is it every other Wednesday? Actually it hits me at random. It's a side-winder side-swipe kind of thing some times. Other times it feels like a cast iron pot in the middle of the forehead.

In contrast to being caught up in all this self-consciousness is the pure bliss of letting go of all the fuss. That's where I want to live. In a state of freedom - simply being who I am without worrying about what other people may think of it. Without comparing myself to other people.

The truth is most of the people don't care about me. They're too busy worrying about themselves. How cool would it be if we all just let go of all the worrying and fussing and re-channeled that energy into some art-making?

Having a 13 y.o. daughter really brings this lesson home. By surviving 47 years, I've learned its possible to let go of all that internal noise and judgement. But, holy cheese and grits, I remember being her age and how miserable I was. How every morning was a battle of wills with the mirror. How I felt like I was on trial for every word that came out of my mouth and there were judges everywhere.

Ick! Awful!

I asked her one morning, "Can we just skip this self-conscious stage and get on with you being who you are without all that crap?" She, of course, had no response to my eloquence. I suppose it can't be skipped. It's a trial by fire kind of thing. If you survive it and grow out of it, you know you can face almost any demon your mind throws at you.

Credits:

Holliewood Studios Flying Free Kit: grass, bird, coupon, trees, roses, stitches, sun, music paper. Crowabout StudioB: Doll from Funky Creatures & Papers Kit, Background Paper from Dreamstage Papers Kit.