Gray Hair Colored by Hope

Kirs10_TheNextSmallStep_Web This is another piece I did for the 2012 Art Journal Caravan. It's called The Next Small Step. I've always believed this to be true:

I believe it is possible to change the path and the nature of your life by making a decision and taking the next small step. Each moment is a beautiful opportunity.

I have always believed this even in my darkest hours. That it's up to me to make a choice and make a move. I think it may even be easier for me to create change when there is a lot of chaos and/or pain in my life. Pain is one of the most motivating things we meet.

When life is good, I get complacent. Creating change in the face of complacency? Not so clear-cut, not so easy.

I never thought of myself as a hopeful person, but when I was confronted with the evidence that I am hopeful by nature, I accepted it with a little more grace than I accept having gray hair. Hope is a part of me that keeps me moving forward. I always have faith that the next step or the next choice will carry me to a better place.

When I was in the darkest place of my adult life - ending an eight year relationship, taking my child away from her father, facing the world as a single mom in NYC, one year after being a first-hand witness to the violence and devastation of 9/11, falling into bankruptcy minute by minute, not knowing how I was going to pay for food for the week - still - I was always sure it would get better. I never doubted it. I cried a lot. I was terrified. I worried. I was plagued by guilt. But I knew it would be better one day - somehow.

I still believe that. It's an unshakable part of who I am. I don't know why. I didn't cultivate or search for hopefulness. It was never a quality I valued. It's a blessing - something bestowed upon me. It colors my life. I color my gray hair.

Here are the credits for the images:

Liana by Rebecca McMeen Frame - StudioMix14 - Carnivale Water& Moon Paper - CrowaboutStudioB - Dreamstage Typewriter - Marta VanEck - Journal Elements Butterfly and 'FREE' word art - Holliewood - Flying Free Paper with tree, stage, and curtain - Holliewood - Art Dollies Door - Finecrafted Design - Door Freebie (no known link available)